Hidden Causes Of Stress: Gremlins And Relationship Stress

by Doc Orman, M.D. on May 18, 2012

This week, I’ve been focusing on some very common hidden causes of stress that I like to refer to as gremlins.  In my first post this week, I introduced you to the overall concept of “gremlins” and how this can help us to better understand some of the internal sources of our stress.

Then, in my second post, I introduced you to an excellent self-help resource, the best-selling book Taming Your Gremlin, written by Rick Carson in 1983 and more recently updated in 2003. 

Today, I want to suggest another excellent self-help resource to you. This is another book by Rick Carson, A Master Class In Gremlin-Taming: The Absolutely Indispensable Next Step for Freeing Yourself from the Monster of the Mind (2008).

Even More On The Gremlin-Training Method

A Master Class in Gremlin-Taming(R): The Absolutely Indispensable Next Step for Freeing Yourself from the Monster of the MindAccording to Carson, when he was first approached by his publisher to write a second book on gremlin-taming, he was reluctant to do so:

“The Gremlin-Taming Method is tried and true and complete.  Nothing is missing in the description of the method as it appears in the original work. The clarity, simplicity, and, most important, the practicality of Taming Your Gremlin is, I think, what accounts for its mass appeal and what I appreciate the most about it. So how could I take you to a deeper level without gumming up the works and complicating what is an elegantly simple process, if I do say so myself?”

Of course, Carson ultimately resolved this conflict, or I wouldn’t be telling you about his second gremlin-taming book.  But he did so in two very important and beneficial ways.

First, Carson and his staff at the Gremlin Taming Institute reviewed the most commonly asked questions from the thousands of current and former students, as well as the many current practitioners of the Gremlin Taming Method.  They also sent out emails to the entire list of the Institute, letting them know about the purpose of this book and asking for even more questions and suggestions.

While the final product is not a book of “frequently asked questions,” much of it includes Carson’s responses to the major questions he’s most frequently received.

Seven Keys For Creating Rewarding Relationships

The second way Carson goes way beyond his original work is by devoting almost half of this follow-up book to exploring what he calls the seven keys to creating successful and rewarding relationships:

“The values and behaviors encompassed in [these seven keys] have become treasures to me.  I’ve applied them far beyond my relationships with my clients. In fact, I make every effort to lead my life…in accordance with them.  Doing so has enhanced my life…and…the seven keys have become guideposts for maximizing the richness of experience inherent in every moment.”

Once again, I’m not going to try to summarize or even list these seven keys, since each of them requires additional explanation, which Carson does so well in his book.

I simply want to make you aware of this excellent resource, and I encourage you to read it as well.  There is some brief review of the original three-step Gremlin-Taming Method in it, along with a quick review of some basic gremlin concepts.  But most of the book is new and additive in value.

I actually recommend that you read the original book first, and then move on to this one.  This is because the basic three-step method is so well defined and illustrated in the original work that you really shouldn’t miss it.

More To Come About Gremlins And Other Hidden Causes Of Stress

This concludes my initial three-post series on the value of using the metaphor of “gremlins” to better understand the hidden causes of your stress.  I may refer to this concept again, in future posts, and I most surely will be discussing other hidden causes, regardless of the terminology used to refer to them.

Please consider reading each of the two books by Rick Carson that I highlighted for you this week.  I think your understanding of human beings, and more specifically human stress, will be greatly expanded in the process.

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Tagged as: post traumatic stress syndrome, prescription medications for stress, relationship stress, stress reducers, stress relief relaxation, stress relief solutions, what is stress

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Hidden Causes Of Stress: How To Tame Your Gremlins

by Doc Orman, M.D. on May 16, 2012

Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own WayIn my previous post, I introduced you to the concept of gremlins as a useful way to think about some of the hidden causes of your stress.  I also mentioned that the idea of using this analogy did not originate with me, and that Rick Carson wrote a best-selling book called Taming Your Gremlin back in 1983, which he more recently updated in 2003. 

Today, I want to tell you a little more about this best-selling book and encourage you to read it, if you haven’t already done so.

There’s Actually An Institute For Taming Gremlins

The full title of Carson’s book is Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method For Getting Out Of Your Own Way. And this is exactly what it’s about—showing you a simple, three-step method for taking control of your inner dialogues that cause you to experience stress or otherwise inhibit your full, natural self.

In fact, Carson created an entire training center, called the Gremlin Taming Institute, in Dallas, Texas, which you can learn more about at www.tamingyourgremlin.com .

I Highly Recommend This Book

I remember reading Carson’s book in the 1980s, when I first started teaching seminars on how to deal with stress.  I also recently read his updated version, published in 2003.  Both times, I found this book to be amazingly insightful and empowering.  If you haven’t read it (either version), I highly recommend that you do so.

I’m not going to try to either explain or summarize Carson’s three-step method for gremlin taming, because he does such a great job of doing that himself.  But I will try to give you just a little taste of what you’ll encounter if you do take my advice and read this book.

Early on, you’ll be introduced to nine different classic gremlin types, five of which are highlighted below: 

  • The General (endlessly issues stern rules, regulations, and other “should’s”)
  • The Artist (convinces you that you’ll eventually be happy just as soon as you get your life to match the unrealistic pictures he/she creates)
  • The Hulk (suppress your anger and other authentic emotions and always encourages you to pretend to be nice)
  • The Big Shot (you’re oh so much better/more important than others)
  • The Grim Reaper (creates emotional sufferers—life without stress, burdens, and being overwhelmed isn’t worth living)

Carson also explains how gremlins conspire to make you form certain habits, concepts, and beliefs that may not always be in your best interest.  He also points out how gremlins are very adept at spreading believable, but incorrect ideas and other false views of reality:

“Gremlins tend to perpetuate myths about people, life, and the nature of the universe.”

Gremlin Strategies

Another thing you’ll gain from reading this classic self-help book is more insight into the type of strategies gremlins commonly use to get the better of you. Examples, which are well-explained in the book, include:

  • The “You Can’t” Strategy
  • The “You Should” Strategy
  • The “You Need” Strategy
  • The “Fantasy Is Reality” Strategy
  • The “They Have To Change In Order For Me To Feel Good” Strategy

And remember, most of the book is devoted not just to helping you become more aware of your internal gremlins, and how the operate to defeat you and cause you stress. Its main purpose is to teach you how to gain more control over your destructive gremlins, by using the three-step gremlin-taming method that Carson explains and illustrates so wonderfully throughout the book.

So, if you haven’t read this book before, please go and do so.  Carson’s teaching and writing style is very engaging, and the book is not only filled with great wisdom, but it’s also easy and fun to read.  There are also many creative illustrations (like the one of the cover) that add to the fun, enjoyment, and learning as well.

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Tagged as: pain and stress reduction, post traumatic stress disorder symptoms, relax for stress relief, relief from stress, stress relief programs, stress relief techniques, taming your gremlin, ways to manage stress

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Hidden Causes Of Stress: Let’s Talk Gremlins

May 14, 2012

This week, I’d like to talk about some hidden causes of stress that I call “gremlins.”  I’ve been using the concept of “gremlins” to both understand my own stress, and to help others better understand their stress, for more than 30 years. However, the term did not originate with me.  Several others have used it, [...]

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Joy And Happiness: What Do You Presuppose?

May 11, 2012

For my third and final blog post this week on the topic of joy and happiness, I want put my two earlier posts on this subject into clearer perspective.  What do Walking Out On Baryshnikov and The Story Of O. J. Brigance tell us about the nature of human joy and the source of human [...]

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