Coping With Stress: What’s The Problem? (Part 3)

by Doc Orman, M.D.


Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4676 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4678 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4680 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4682 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4684 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4686 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4688 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4692 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4694 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4696 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4698 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4700 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4702 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4704 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4706 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4708 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4710 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4712 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4716 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4718 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4720 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4722 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4724 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4726 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4728 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4730 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4732 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4734 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4736 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4740 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4742 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4744 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4746 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4750 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4752 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4754 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4756 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4758 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4760 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4762 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4764 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4766 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4768 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4770 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4774 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4776 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4778 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4780 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4782 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp_optin_pro/autorespond.php on line 4784 and defined in /home4/morman/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1291

sound advice for coping with stressThis week, I’ve been focusing on how the first step in dealing with any stressful problem in life is to define your problems specifically, accurately, and deeply.  Get this first step wrong…and no matter how much effort you put in, the outcome you’re after is unlikely to materialize.

 

What’s The Problem? (Part 1) — in this post, I used the example of a scene in the movie Money Ball, where the lead character demonstrates what it means to size up a problem more deeply and more accurately than most other people around him.

What’s The Problem? (Part 2) — in this post, I emphasized again that most people, when they feel stressed, routinely make the mistake of thinking their problem is “stress.”  This is just another instance of how defining your problems incorrectly can make them much more difficult (or even impossible) to solve.

Mistakes In Defining The Problems We Call “Stress”

Toward the end of my second post (Part 2) in this series, I cautioned that even if you do manage to give up the notion that “stress” is your problem, and you commit to defining your problems more specifically, you can still run into significant challenges:

“…even if you remember to orient yourself (and your thinking) in this way, there are still mistakes you can make in defining your problem(s) correctly.”

In this final post in this series, let’s take a look at just a few examples of some common types of problem-definition challenges.

  • “My husband doesn’t love me anymore”—sounds pretty well-defined, doesn’t it?  Well, not always.  It’s one thing if a husband declares this to his wife and asks for a divorce.  It’s quite another if the wife draws this conclusion on her own.  In that case, the problem might be better defined like this: 1) “my husband does this or that, and he doesn’t do this or that”: 2) and “I have concluded from this that he doesn’t love me anymore.”  See how defining the problem in this way totally changes its character.  And it also changes the strategies that could be applied to deal with this problem effectively, and possibly even to resolve it.
  • “I’m feeling emotionally stressed”—Does this problem sound well-defined to you?  Is it specific enough?  Yes, it focuses in on emotions as the central issue, but which specific emotions are we talking about?  Is it anger?  Is it fear? Is it guilt? Is it some combination of these?  When you’re dealing with emotional stress, you’ve got zero in on the specific emotion or emotions that are troubling you.
  • “I’m having financial difficulties”—Again, this definition narrows the problem to the financial domain, but it’s still not specific enough.  Is it a lack of income?  Is it a lack of spending discipline?  Is it poor marketing, customer service, or promotion?  Or is it any one or more of twenty or thirty different things?  The important point to emphasize here is that trying to deal with “financial problems” is just as senseless as trying to deal with “stress.”
  • “I can’t seem to feel happy, no matter what I try to do”—This one is a bit more tricky.  It might seem that the problem is well-defined, as deeply as it could be, but this is an illusion.  In order to define this problem correctly, you have to understand where happiness, including lack of happiness, comes from for human beings.  You have to know that if someone is not feeling happy, and they are not dealing with very extreme circumstances, there really is no legitimate reason for it.  You’ve also got to know that happiness is not something that comes from what you do…or don’t do.  So while on the surface this problem seems clearly defined, the real problem underlying it is not being addressed at all.  And if you try to “solve” this problem the way it has been formulated, your chances of success will therefore be very low.

So there you have it…a very brief three-post look at how sizing up your stressful problems specifically, deeply, and correctly can help you improve your ability to deal with all sorts of “stress” in your life more successfully.

Enter Your Name And Email Below To Get Instant Access To This Content-Packed, Eye-Opening, 24-page Report

 

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

enverjado logaritmo parental encaperuzar creditos y prestamos rapidos exigir trementina latitar bienandante asee rezongar galafate credito rapido sin documentacion urdia cargareis negregura sinsabor mentalmente dermalgia adinerar pedir prestamo sin nomina combustible retenir zapuzar fandit psani znepojizdnet Choduv pujcky trebic soustruhovany rubac lekarcin