Free Divorce For Valentine’s Day (Part 2)

by Doc Orman, M.D.

Valentine Divorce Part 2This week, I am highlighting the example of a Southfield, Michigan attorney, Walter H. Bentley III, who ran a contest this Valentine’s Day to award a completely free divorce (all fees, expenses, hearing, filings, etc.) to the spouse who submitted the best break up story.

While he was only expecting about 50 spouses to respond, Bentley was overwhelmed with more than 500 contest entries

Why Relationships Fail

This prompted me to share my views on why so many relationships tend to fail, even though they start off with such positive feelings and expectations.

As I mentioned in my first post this week on why relationships fail, I have written about this subject extensively during the past 30 years.  I have also counseled many individuals and couples to better understand and then deal with the root causes of their relationship conflicts.

As a result of this experience, I’ve concluded that most relationships fail for three primary reasons:

  1. We mistakenly believe that our relationships are destined to succeed if we have a good match and both people’s feelings are strong at the outset.
  2. We fail to understand exactly how each of us is “programed” to destroy our relationships, no matter how much we value them.
  3. Despite what we say, think, feel, or believe…we are often more interested in being right than we are in being happy ourselves, or than we are in contributing to our partner’s happiness.

NEWS FLASH #2: You Are Destined To Destroy Every Relationship That Matters To You

In my first post, I addressed our strong belief (actually a myth) that our relationships…if well-chosen and entered into properly…are destined to succeed all by themselves.  I argued that if this really were the case, our divorce rate would be nowhere near where it is today:

“When two human beings decide to embark on a long-term union with each other, whether it’s marriage, friendship, or even a joint business venture, the odds are extremely high that even if the relationship starts off well, and both parties are very happy, the relationship will eventually become strained and in many cases will end entirely.”

In this post, I want to focus on the second major cause of relationship failures—not recognizing how our own ingrained tendencies will surely destroy any relationship that matters to us…unless we know what these tendencies are and step in to overcome them.

Better Odds Than Cancer?

Let’s face it. You’ve got a better chance of surviving cancer today than you do of having a successful long-term relationship.

Most people go through life without ever understanding the key elements that make their relationships succeed or fail. In fact, the need is so great for more clarification about these key elements that I recently wrote a short e-book about them, called Why Relationships Fail…And What You Can Do To Avoid This.

The purpose of this e-book is to shed much needed light on this very important subject.  In the first part of the book, I reveal the ten most common ways that people repeatedly destroy their relationships.  You may already know how to do this (i.e. destroy your relationships) but you may not be entirely clear about how  you manage to accomplish this feat—over and over again.

Then, in the second part of the book, I cover some of the key things to focus on to improve your chances for relationship success.

Sure, there are a few lucky souls who naturally succeed at interpersonal relationships. But that small group probably doesn’t include you or me!

If people like you or me are going to have long-term success in this very challenging arena of life, we’re going to have to do it the hard way. We’re going to have to learn from our mistakes and find out what really works…and what doesn’t work.

Then we’re going to have to stop doing the things that don’t work and start doing more of the things that do.

I highly recommend that you check out this excellent relationship resource.

Why Relationships Fail E-Book Cover

 

 

Just click on this link or on the cover image to find out more about it.

 

 

 

 

In my third and final post for this week, I will take just one of these top ten relationship-destroying tendencies to expand upon with you.

 

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