Happiness 101: Are You Happy Right Now?

by Doc Orman, M.D.

Happiness 101 Pt 3This is the last post in a three-part series about the art of being happy.  In my first post this week, we saw that happiness includes a wide range of positive human emotions, from joy and elation at one end of the happiness spectrum to quiet and peaceful contentment at the other.

Then, in my second post, I shared how happiness is actually a win-win game. When things are going well in our lives, we can be happy. And when things aren’t going so well in our lives…we can still be happy.  The first is more of a reactive type of happiness, while the second is more of an inner creative process for generating happiness.

PLEASE NOTE:  This series of posts on happiness, and especially this final discussion today, is aimed at people who do not suffer from a serious mental health disorder or a chronic mood disorder such as chronic depression.  If you suffer from any such disorders, the information conveyed here may not apply to you.

What To Do If You Aren’t Happy Now?

I know it’s very easy for others to say you can be happy whenever you want. Yet I also know it’s not always easy to make this happen.

So what should you do if you aren’t happy now, or if you are having trouble making yourself happy? 

Over the years, I’ve found that the single best thing you can do is to radically change the way you go about trying to be happy.

Instead of thinking that being happy is something you need to make yourself feel or find out what you need to do in order to become more happy, I suggest you start off with a different presupposition.

I suggest you adopt the notion that being happy is your natural state of being.

(NOTE: Here again, if you suffer from severe depression or from some other serious mental illness, this advice may not be for you.)

Now, what does it mean that “happiness is your natural state of being?”  It simply means that for most ordinary people, being happy is what we are naturally born to be. 

If you embrace this somewhat radical point of view, your task will become very different.  Instead of starting off by assuming that you’re not a happy person, and therefore there are specific things you will need to do in order to become a happy person, you would assume the opposite view that you are perfectly capable of being happy right now.  In fact, you would assume an even more radical point of view that if you are not happy now, you must actively be doing something to suppress your natural state of inner happiness.

Thus, instead of marching down the path of trying to figure out what you should do to make yourself more happy, you might want to focus on discovering things you already are doing (or are not doing) that may be keeping your natural ability to be happy under wraps.

For instance:

  • Do you tend to focus more on negatives than positives in your life?
  • Do you believe that happiness is very scarce and that you are only entitled to small, infrequent doses of it?
  • Do you think that you can only be happy if your life turns out a certain way?
  • Do you think you can only be happy if you accomplish or have certain things?
  • Do you believe that life is a very serious matter and that people should be very serious most of the time?
  • Do you believe that it is the job of other people in your life to make you happy?
  • Do you think that you have to have a very good reason to be happy, and that lacking such a good reason, being happy is inappropriate?

As you begin to discover these types of “blocks” to your natural expression of happiness and contentment, you’ll probably be able to defeat them, once you have them in clearer view.  And little by little, as you begin to figure out how to remove these “blocks,” your natural state of inner happiness will begin to emerge without you having to “do” anything to try to force yourself to be more happy (which rarely works).

This is just a suggestion, and I invite you to explore it.  If you try it out and find that it helps you, please let us know.

Even More Words Of Wisdom

Hope you’ve enjoyed this brief three-part discussion about happiness. Here’s the last batch of favorite quotations I want to share with you from the online source below.

Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/happiness

“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” ― Susan Polis Schutz 

“One is happy as a result of one’s own efforts once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness: simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clear conscience.” ― George Sand 

“Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You’ll definitely be happier.” ― Simone Elkeles, How to Ruin Your Boyfriend’s Reputation 

“Pierre was right when he said that one must believe in the possibility of happiness in order to be happy, and I now believe in it. Let the dead bury the dead, but while I’m alive, I must live and be happy.” ― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace  

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ― Carlos Castaneda 

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.” ― Robert Anthony 

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The gratest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca

Special FREE Download Gift!

Free Downloadable Four-Book Stress Relief Library

To get your own complete download of this entire four-book Stress Relief Secrets REVEALED library, go to http://beststresshelp.com and download it right now. Also, when you get these four PDF e-books on your computer, don’t just let them sit there! Don’t promise yourself that you’ll eventually get around to reading them later. That usually doesn’t work, and it’s very likely you will never, ever get around to reading them. And the information they contain is way too valuable and useful for you to miss out on any of it.

Once you do download these four e-books, I’m going to send you an email every day, for the next seven days, to support you in reading them all.

Go to http://beststresshelp.com right now and submit your best email address. Then, you’ll get an email asking you to confirm your intentions. When this email arrives (if you don’t see it within 10-15 minutes, check your spam folder), please click on the highlighted link and you’ll go directly to the download page, where all four e-books can be downloaded as one composite .zip file.

Best wishes and happy reading (and learning)!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Yadira November 20, 2012 at 8:32 PM

We need more insgtihs like this in this thread.

Reply

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