Holiday Stress: Blaming Yourself Or Others When Things Go Wrong

by Doc Orman, M.D.

In the previous post, we looked at a very common action pattern Trying To Change Or Control Others as a hidden cause of holiday stress.

In this post, we’re going to examine another extremely frequent action pattern that leads to stress during the holidays, and all year long as well.

This pattern is called Blaming Yourself Or Others When Things Go Wrong.

The Blame Game

Whenever things go wrong, regardless of the time of year, one of our first automatic impulses is to look for someone or something to blame.  Blaming is so widespread, and so automatic, that we can mistakenly conclude that it’s an appropriate way to respond.

Unfortunately, blaming is more likely to make things worse than it is to improve things, either in the short run or long run.  There are a number of reasons why we are so prone to engage in this activity that we’ll explore in future posts.

However, the most important thing we need to recognize, during the holidays, is that there will be many more opportunities for things to go wrong, and hence for us to blame either ourselves or others in response to these.

An Inexpensive Gift You Can Give

The next time you become triggered to want to blame either yourself or others when something goes wrong, remember the spirit of giving that’s so much a part of the holidays, and give yourself or others the very inexpensive (but very valuable) gift of forgiveness.

Forgiveness often starts with assuming that people (including yourself) are usually trying to do their best, given their immediate circumstances, even though things might have gone wrong.  So give yourself or others the benefit of the doubt this holiday season, and see how it works out.

You might like the results so much that you’ll keep this up during the rest of the year.

NOTE:  If you haven’t yet downloaded my free e-book “How To Have Less Stress And More Fun During The Holiday Season,” click on the link below, “like” the Facebook Page, and you’ll immediately be able to download your own free copy. Then, if you like what you learn, tell all your friends how they can get their own free copy as well.

Here’s a link to my free holiday stress relief e-book on Facebook.

Here’s a link to some additional holiday stress relief information from the American Psychological Association: Making The Most Of The Holiday Season


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Kiana November 23, 2011 at 1:58 AM

I rlealy wish there were more articles like this on the web.


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