How To Have A Stress-Free Wedding—Part 3

by Doc Orman, M.D.

Several years after our wedding in 1984, Christina and I wrote a book about how to have a stress-free wedding.  We based this book upon our own experiences dealing with wedding planning stress and some of the key concepts and principles we found most helpful.

Stress-Free Wedding E-bookI promised to tell you about this book today and how it differs from other wedding stress books available.  But before I do, if you missed either of the two earlier posts in this series, here are the links:

How To Have A Stress-Free Wedding—Part 1 

How To Have A Stress-Free Wedding—Part 2 

How Our Book Is Different

While many books are available to help plan and organize a wedding, none addresses the subject as we do.  Instead of advocating exercise, diet changes, or relaxation techniques, we show prospective brides and grooms how to eliminate stress by gaining a better understanding of its hidden internal causes.

For example, one of the biggest causes of wedding stress is our internal expectations. Prospective brides and grooms can have all kinds of expectations about:

  • How each of them should behave toward the other;
  • How their parents should behave;
  • How friends and support people should behave;
  • How vendors and contractors should deliver on their promises;
  • How their wedding day should go;
  • How their honeymoon should go;
  • Etc.

Often these expectations exist in various people’s minds, yet they are not openly shared or communicated.  This can lead to disappointment, hurt feelings, and interpersonal conflicts and stress.

Plan Your Marriage First!

In addition, every prospective bride and groom has multiple expectations about what their marriage will be like.  There are hidden expectations about the various roles each will play as a married couple, about how much time they will spend together, about their sexual relationship, about how many kids they will have and how they will raise them together, and how they will deal with adversity and unexpected problems.

Even though they may think they know each other well, it never hurts to get all your expectations out on the table so there will be no hard feelings later.  This is why we also include a detailed 25-item Values, Goals, And Expectations Questionnaire in our book.

This extensive questionnaire covers most major points of potential conflict in a marriage.  And both the prospective bride and prospective groom are instructed to write down their expectations on each and every item and then come together to share and discuss their answers.

Until you’ve actually done this exercise yourself, you have no idea how powerful it can be.  It can also go a long way to preventing many future problems and conflicts as the marriage grows and evolves over time.

25 Hidden Causes Of Wedding Stress

Interestingly, expectations are only one of many hidden internal causes of wedding and relationship stress.  In our book, we reveal and discuss twenty five of them—all by the end of the second chapter!

In addition, we also show how to:

• chose a purpose for your marriage that will ensure its long-term success;

• plan your marriage to accommodate future growth and change;

• eliminate the fear of commitment on your wedding day;

• have a glorious, romantic, stress-free honeymoon…

And much, much more.  If you want to learn more about this great self-help guidebook, just visit our Facebook page on Wedding Stress Relief.

NOTE:  To receive a free weekly digest of all future posts on this blog, sent directly to your email every Sunday, please use the sign up form at the top of this page.

Also, if you’d like to view all of my stress relief Kindle books on Amazon, simply click on the link below:


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