Keys To Stress Mastery: Are You A Good Listener? (Part 2)

by Doc Orman, M.D.

This week and next, in order to help you advance your stress mastery skills, I’ve chosen the topic of listening to explore with you.

In this series of six consecutive blog posts, I’ll be discussing seven key aspects of listening that deserve closer attention.  In my first post in this series, I covered the first two of these keys:

KEY #1:  Listening Is Not A Passive Activity!

KEY #2:  Listen For Unspoken Fears/Concerns/Moods/Aspirations

Today, I want to expand upon this second listening skill by addressing another important requirement for good listening…

KEY #3:  Good Listening Requires Great Wisdom


You can’t be a good listener if you don’t understand human beings. And I mean really understand human beings. How do you obtain this type of wisdom?  It’s part luck, part hard work, part dedication, and part finding the right teachers or mentors.  But when somebody’s got this type of deep understanding, you can sense it in an instant.

Many psychiatrists, psychologists, and other mental health professionals gain this type of wisdom with many years of experience (although you’d be amazed how many never do).  I’ve also found that successful novelists, playwrights, and other creative writers often have acquired an abundance of such wisdom.

Thus, the wiser you become about life and about human beings, the better a listener you invariably will be.  No matter how many technical communication skills you master, if you don’t have extensive wisdom about people, you won’t come across as truly understanding them or listening to them well.

For example, I know that the more I’ve learned about the core thought patterns that result in causing specific human emotions, the better I can listen to and understand people when they’re emotionally upset. By the same token, the more I learn about my own self-worth and inner strengths, the more I can “see” and “hear” these same human qualities and strengths in others.

That’s why if you want to become a good listener, it’s absolutely essential that you commit yourself to becoming a life-long student of human beings and human nature.  Keep on learning and expanding your horizons.  Read lots of books, both fiction and non-fiction.  Listen to tapes. Attend various lectures, seminars, and workshops.  No matter how much you know, or how smart you are, keep pushing yourself to learn even more.  Because the more you know about life and about human beings in general, the better a listener you will automatically become.

NOTE: This six-part series of consecutive blog posts contains excerpts from a newsletter article I wrote and published back in January, 1995 titled: “7 Keys To Listening That Will Win You Friends, Improve Your Marriage, Boost Your Profits, And Make People Follow You Anywhere!”

For a full list of all of my Kindle books about stress, click on this link:


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