New Reality TV Show: The Stress Games—Day 3

by Doc Orman, M.D.

The Stress Games--Day 3In my first post this week, I invented a hypothetical reality TV show in order to answer a question an interviewer once asked: 

“If you could only give people three pieces of wisdom to help them deal with their stress—and you could never, ever give them any more—what would those three things be?” 

In this hypothetical reality show, 40 adults with high levels of stress are placed into four groups of ten.  Each group is also assigned a stress coach.  However, the four coaches only have one 10-minute session a day, for the first three days of the challenge, to impart as much wisdom as possible about how each individual in the group can lower their stress levels, during the next 12 months of the contest.  

I also suggested that readers of this three-post series imagine that I am one of the four expert coaches, and that they are a member of my team. To find out what advice I passed on to my group on Day 1 and Day 2, just click the links below: 

Day 1 Advice For Reducing Stress 

Day 2 Advice For Reducing Stress 

Day 3 Parting Advice 

It’s now the third and final day of our 10-minute group empowerment sessions. After this final brief session, you’ll be on your own to try to figure out how to best reduce your stress during the next twelve months. 

On Day 2, I gave my group the three most important recommendations for reducing stress that I could ever give anyone.   Today, I’ve got one last 10-minute opportunity to impart any additional wisdom that might assist you in being successful (and winning the game). 

What would you say to your group if you were in my shoes in this hypothetical contest?  What additional words of wisdom would you want to share, and would those words really make any difference? 

Be Sure To Get Plenty Of Help   

Well, here is the one and only additional piece of advice I would give to my group: 

YOU’LL NEVER WIN THIS STRESS GAME IF YOU TRY TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN! 

Having already given my group the three most important principles for how to reduce their stress, I would strongly encourage each person to get plenty of help in trying to implement each one, especially Principle #3. 

Here’s a recap of my three key stress-reducing principles: 

PRINCIPLE #1:  LIFE ITSELF IS RARELY IF EVER STRESSFUL! 

PRINCIPLE #2:  SINCE LIFE ITSELF IS NOT STRESSFUL, THEN IF YOU ARE HAVING ANY STRESS (OF ANY KIND), YOU MUST SOMEHOW BE CONTRIBUTING TO THIS! 

PRINCIPLE #3:  IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT—PRECISELY—HOW YOU ARE GENERATING MUCH OF THE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE, YOU THEN ARE IN IDEAL POSITION TO ALSO FIGURE OUT HOW TO STOP DOING THOSE THINGS, AND THEREBY ENJOY A SUBSTANTIAL REDUCTION IN YOUR STRESS. 

The problem with the first two principles is that they fly squarely in the face of everything the majority of people around you believe.  So, in order to keep these two principles in your conscious awareness every day, it may be helpful to find some additional people to interact with, who can support you in maintaining these very non-traditional, yet highly-empowering points of view. 

BLINDNESS Will Be Your Greatest Enemy 

The problem with Principle #3 is that it’s extremely difficult, perhaps even impossible, to do this well on your own.  The reason is this: 

REASON:  MOST OF THE INTERNAL CAUSES OF YOUR STRESS ARE HIDDEN FROM YOUR VIEW! 

This, by far, is the greatest challenge everyone faces in learning how to free themselves from stress.  Unless you are committed to becoming very, very good at this skill, you will not be successful.  And the other cold, hard truth is that you’ll never, ever get good at this skill by trying to figure out how to do this on your own. 

This is just the nature of the real stress game (and why so many people are so poor at both playing and winning it).   You’ve got to open yourself up and let other people help you.  You can’t see the internal causes of your stress very easily, but other people can! 

You can’t see all the false ideas, faulty notions, inaccurate theories, incomplete perceptions, misguided beliefs, and ineffective strategies that might be causing much of your stress—but other people can! 

And you can’t see all the better ideas, more grounded theories, expanded perspectives, and better alternative strategies that you may be missing—but other people can! 

There Are Helpful People All Around You 

There is actually quite an abundance of helpful, insightful people all around you. You just have to be open and willing to use them.  And you also have to be able to judge their specific areas of expertise in helping you identify internal causes of which you may be BLIND. 

For example, I can help you learn how to identify many of these internal causes. You can learn from me by following my blog, by signing up for my free monthly Stress Relief Insights Newsletter, by downloading and studying some of my free stress mastery resources, and by participating in some of my live or home study advanced stress mastery trainings. 

You can also learn how to identify some of your internal causes by letting other stress experts, cognitive-behavioral therapists, personal growth gurus, life coaches, business consultants, marriage counselors, and others help you.  All you have to do is make sure (as best you can) that they know what they are doing, and that they’ve helped others get in touch with internal causes in such a way that this enabled them to make major changes and improvements in their lives. 

The one thing you absolutely cannot do is rely too heavily on your own ability to ferret out these hidden causes.  After all, if you were already naturally good at doing this, you wouldn’t have much stress to deal with anyway.  And since most people are not in this category, you’ll need to reach out to others. 

You Don’t Always Need A Professional 

You’d be amazed at how many non-professional people around you could also help you identify some of your internal causes.  Your friends, your spouse, your significant other, even your kids or your co-workers can often see things about you (and your beliefs, thought patterns, behavior patterns, etc.) that you are mostly blind to. And if you enlist these people judiciously, you can often profit from their insights, observations, and personal life experiences. 

So that’s it for all the wisdom I can think of to pass on to you in these three brief 10-minute time periods that we were allowed to have together.  Obviously, if we were playing this hypothetical reality T.V. game for real, the rules would not allow you to have much direct contact with me for the next twelve months. 

But this is just a make-believe game, so you are free to hang out with me, interact with me, and learn from me (and me from you) as much as you want.  As I said, it’s very hard, if not impossible, to win the real-life stress game on your own. Thus, I would be honored to serve as one of your personal stress coaches, in real life, if this is something you would like. 

You can pose questions to me, or leave comments, either on this blog or on my main Facebook Fan Page at http://facebook.com/beststressrelief . 

Also, please consider taking full advantage of all the free and paid stress mastery resources I have already made available, including those that I will be producing in the future. 

Anyhow, thanks for reading this series of three related blog posts, and I hope you got something valuable from them.  Stay tuned for next week’s series of posts.  I, for one, can’t wait to see what they will be about!

                          Special FREE Download Gift!

 

Free Downloadable Four-Book Stress Relief Library

To get your own complete download of this entire four-book Stress Relief Secrets REVEALED library, go to http://beststresshelp.com and download it right now.  Also, when you get these four PDF e-books on your computer, don’t just let them sit there!  Don’t promise yourself that you’ll eventually get around to reading them later.  That usually doesn’t work, and it’s very likely you will never, ever get around to reading them. And the information they contain is way too valuable and useful for you to miss out on any of it.

Once you do download these four e-books, I’m going to send you an email every day, for the next seven days, to support you in reading them all.

Go to http://beststresshelp.com right now and submit your best email address. Then, you’ll get an email asking you to confirm your intentions. When this email arrives (if you don’t see it within 10-15 minutes, check your spam folder), please click on the highlighted link and you’ll go directly to the download page, where all four e-books can be downloaded as one composite .zip file.

Best wishes and happy reading (and learning)!

 

 

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

jordan 3 true blue August 27, 2012 at 6:53 AM

The article is worth reading,Thank you very much! I will keep your new articles

Reply

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