Stress Mastery: How To Have A Long And Happy Marriage

by Doc Orman, M.D.

On Tuesday, June 10th, my wife Christina and I celebrated our 30th anniversary.  I got a short cartoon video made for her, which she really liked.  I also mentioned in my last blog post that one of the secrets to having a long, successful marriage is to “marry a good woman…and then get the hell out of her way!”

Well, that’s not the only secret to it. But it definitely works to let your woman guide the relationship.  After all, they’re trained from childhood to do this…and we men are not.

Here’s another secret I thought I’d share with you—set up your marriage to function well, right from the start. In our case, we built some strong guiding principles into our wedding vows.  And we’ve both done a good job of living up to them ever since.

Here’s a short video from our wedding ceremony 30 years ago.  Our good friend Chris Kirtz married us, and he also was the person who originally got us together.

If you can watch the whole 2:07 minutes of this video, it’s worth paying attention to Chris’s wonderful words of wisdom.  You won’t see us exchanging our vows in this clip, so I’ve included them below.

Mort & Christina’s Wedding Vows 

Spoken to each other on June 10, 1984: 

“I promise to love you just the way you are.” 

“I pledge to share my life with you, to honor and trust you, and to always be faithful to you.” 

“I know that the experience of loving you can me mine whenever I choose.” 

“And I will not hold you responsible for my own happiness and contentment.” 

“I will cherish you, love you, and be truthful to you through all the changes and miracles in our lives.” 

Notice how there’s not a hit of dependency in these vows.  They are all expressions of high-level personal responsibility, which has served us well throughout the years.

Anyhow, since we were on the theme of anniversary celebrations this week, I thought I’d pass this additional secret on to you.

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