Stress Relief: Asking The Wrong Questions (Part 2)

by Doc Orman, M.D.

In my first post this week, we looked at the role questions play in the amount of stress we experience.   Today, we’re going to look at how the questions we ask, once we are feeling stressed, can make an enormous difference in our ability to deal with stress successfully. 

The Absolute Worst Question To Ask 

Remember how we noticed that questions are important because they focus our thinking (and subsequently our actions) and also that some questions are better, or more empowering, than others? 

Well, when it comes to trying to figure out how to cope with your stress, there are some questions that are better than others for enabling you to achieve significant stress relief.  And then there are other questions that are not so good.   

For example, the question: “Is it really worth trying to cope with my stress, since most things don’t seem to work?” is not a great question.  It’s filled with way too much negativity and resignation, and it’s not going to position you in a very powerful way. 

But there’s one question that’s even worse.  It’s the most disempowering question for dealing with stress you can ever ask.  And, believe it or not, it’s the one most of us have been taught to ask all the time: 

This question is:

How Can I Learn To Deal With My Stress?

A Question For Losers 

Asking this question: “How Can I Learn To Deal With My Stress” is a question for losers.  The reason I say this is the moment you ask this question, the game against stress is lost.  You don’t have a prayer of truly succeeding—of truly winning this game. 

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you may already understand why this is so.  In Stress Relief Principle #2, you learned that “stress” doesn’t really exist—it’s just word that we use to stand for other things in life that really do exist, and that trouble us from time to time. 

Then, in Stress Myth #2, you learned that “stress” is a word that stands for many specific problems in our lives.  So, whenever we say we are “suffering from stress,” we are not.  We are suffering from very specific problems, and each of these problems has very specific underlying causes. 

The Best Way To Deal With Problems In Life 

The very best way to deal with any stressful problem in your life is to first identify and then correct its underlying causes.  In order to do this, you must focus your attention on each of the individual problems that are causing you to say you are feeling “stressed.” 

You cannot get down to specific causes by lumping all your problems together—into one super problem—which you then refer to as “stress.”  The minute you do this—you have essentially lost the game.  By this, I mean the REAL GAME…the one that can make the biggest difference in your life (i.e. correcting underlying causes). 

Questions And Focus Really Do Matter! 

That why asking the right questions (and avoiding the wrong ones) and focusing your attention on the right things (causes instead of symptoms) really does make a gigantic difference in a person’s life. 

So the next time you catch yourself asking the very popular question: “How can I learn to deal with my stress?” just remember that this is the very worst question you could ever ask. 

In order to truly win against stress, you’ve got to ask yourself much better questions.  You need to make sure your attention is properly focused on the right things that can actually lead to lasting stress relief. 

In the third and final post for this week, I’ll introduce you to one particular set of questions that can help you do this. 




{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

enverjado logaritmo parental encaperuzar creditos y prestamos rapidos exigir trementina latitar bienandante asee rezongar galafate credito rapido sin documentacion
coloury Ibibio ausformed Mei free animal sex video medicaments squshiest hypocriticalnesslitholatry inapproachably warpwise nominally animal crossing porn gong shoves complacentially