Stress Relief: Lies We Tell Ourselves (Lies About Life)

by Doc Orman, M.D.

Lies About Life

For my final blog post in this three-part series on common lies we often tell ourselves, I’d like to focus on lies we tell ourselves about life

If you pay close attention to others when they speak, you will often hear statements that either directly or indirectly reveal the speakers’ basic presuppositions about life.  These presuppositions can have a huge effect on how much (or how little) stress each person is likely to experience.

For example, it’s not uncommon to hear people say things like:

  • “Life is tough”
  • “Life is full of pain and sorrow”
  • “Life is boring/my life is boring/my life is unexciting”
  • “Life is a rat race/life is a competition”

Of course, if you talk with enough people, you will also hear statements such as:

  • “Life is like a bowl of cherries”
  • “Life is what you choose to make of it”
  • “Life is a miracle…every day”
  • “Life is full of unlimited joy and possibility.”

Which Of These Statements About Life Are True?

When it comes to distinguishing what’s really true about life, about the only thing we can say for sure is that you can have it either way.  If you want to approach life from the viewpoint that it’s tough, or that it’s painful, or that it’s boring or much too competitive, you can create this as your reality.

On the other hand, if you want to view life as being full of goodies, miracles, joys and possibilities…well you can have that kind of life as your reality as well.

It all boils down to the presuppositions (about life) that you adopt.  You can either keep the ones that you already have, or you are free to invent and adopt new ones, anytime you choose.

So, is it a lie to say that life is tough, or painful, or full of disappointments?  Well, not really, because if you want to, you can create a life that actually becomes this way.

But it certainly is a lie is to assume that you don’t have any choice in the matter.  It’s definitely a lie to say that life “is this way…or that way…”  because how life turns out (and is personally experienced) by each of us, has a great deal to do with how we choose to relate to it.

Three Key Choices

In a previous series of blog posts (The Presupposition Of Scarcity, The Presupposition Of Abundance—Part 1, The Presupposition Of Abundance—Part 2, I introduced you to the first key choice of presuppositions we all need to make—are we going to look at the world we live in as full of scarcity or full of abundance?

Then, in the previous post in this series (Permanence Lies), I introduced a second key choice of presuppositions—are we going to view ourselves and our current situations in life as being fixed and permanent or are we going to assume that most things can change and improve, given the right focus, creativity, and intention?

We now have a third key choice of presuppositions to consider—is life a certain way (good or bad), or is the quality of our life determined largely by how we choose to create it?

Where Do You Stand?

These are three important “decisions” every human being must make in the course of living their lives.  Unfortunately, little direct attention is given to these three choices, and therefore many of the answers we arrive at are often given to us by others.

But you can choose to revisit these three decision points anytime you want.  The two big questions now are:

1)    Have you thought very deeply about each of these choices; and

2)    If so, where do you stand on each of them? 

Please feel free to let us know your thoughts on these matters by leaving a comment in the comment section below.



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