Stress Relief Tip: Telling The Truth (Part 3)

by Doc Orman, M.D.

Stress And Telling The Truth Part 3This week, I’ve been conducting a three-part discussion about telling the truth and its relationship to the amount of stress we have (or don’t have) in our lives.  

In my first post of this series, I explained how telling the truth is becoming a vanishing skill in our society.

Then, in my second post, I teased out a few specific skills you may need in order to be good at both recognizing and telling the truth.

Getting To The Essence Of Things

Today, I want to highlight another important truth-telling skill:  getting all the way down to the heart…or to the essence…of things.

Much too often we spend a great deal of time thinking about, talking about, or arguing about a particular subject without ever getting down to the deepest  essence of whatever it is we are focused on.  Because of this, we can get ourselves into troublesome positions that are far removed from any fundamental “truths” about whatever we are contemplating.

On the other hand, once you are able to correctly focus on the essence of some seemingly complex or difficult problem, much of our confusion dissipates and the path to whatever outcomes we are striving for becomes incredibly clear.

The Essence Of Stress

Take the topic of stress, for example.  One of the reasons I started this website and blog was to help people become clear about the essence of what stress is and how we can deal with it most effectively.

Regarding the essence of what stress really is, I’ve already shown you that stress is just a word we use to stand for hundreds of different problems in our lives.  This is as deep as it goes.  This is the essence of stress, plain and simple. Just think about how many wrong-headed definitions, erroneous ideas, and other types of imprecise thinking that goes on every day about stress, and how this one key understanding can immediately clear up most of this.

The Essence Of A Computer

Here’s another example.  Back in the early 1980’s, I went to a seminar about the potential of the Internet, based on the first advanced web browser (I think it was called Mosaic) that had recently been developed.  This full-day conference was sponsored by a large university, and the speakers were all members of the university’s computer studies department.

When the seminar began, the first speaker stood up and asked the audience if anyone knew what a computer really was.  Actually, he was asking if we were clear about the essence of a computer.  Of course no one knew, so after everyone gave it a try, he told us the answer:  a computer is nothing more than “sand with dirt in it.”  What he was describing was the essence of a silicon chip, which in fact is what gives a computer its power.

Silicon chips are able to function as supercharged electrical micro-circuits when their molecules are impregnated with certain types of other molecules, such as Arsenic (i.e. the “dirt”) that transforms the relatively inert molecular structure of  beach sand into the main functional component of a computer.  Go figure.  Did you know this is?  Well, if you are IBM, or Microsoft, or Apple, and you mistakenly think the essence of a computer is something else, you are going to be out of business.  For the rest of us non-techy folks, it’s just a nice bit of trivia.

The Essence Of Love

Of course, there are many other things in life that do touch us directly, and many of these do have the potential to cause us stress, especially if we aren’t clear about the essence of what we are dealing with. 

Love, for instance, is something we are all profoundly interested in.  Yet many people are not clear about what the essence of love really is, and this lack of clarity can be the source of all sorts of love-related problems and stress.

In 1978, the late psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, M.D. wrote a book called The Road Less Traveled, which sold over ten million copies and remained on the New York Times best-seller list (for years) longer than any other paperback book ever published.  Peck was a therapist who helped people work through many of their love-related problems. And in this book, he identifies many of the faulty (i.e. untrue) notions people commonly have about romantic love that get them into trouble.  Once again, the reason for this is because they can lead us far astray from what the essence of love really is.

To my way of thinking (and to Dr. Peck’s), the essence of love has little to do with feelings or emotions.  These are more the by-products of love, which starts with things like acceptance, having appreciation for, and having a high positive regard for another individual.

The Essence Of Being Human

Another area where we frequently fail to grasp the essence of something is our misunderstandings about the fundamental nature of being human.  Mostly, we believe that each human being consists of a mind, a body, and a soul or spirit.  Actually, this is not the case.  All human beings consist of only one thing—a human body—and this human body contains remarkable capacities for language that no other living species have.  Thus, it is human language that gives rise to the uniqueness of human life, including all of our “mental” and “spiritual” dimensions.

NOTE: Descartes was incorrect when he said “I think, therefore I am.”  What he should have said is “I speak, therefore I am.”

The Essence Of Human Language

Most of us also misunderstand the essence of human language.  If you think that language is simply a “tool” that human beings use to describe and speak about our lives…you would be wrong.  Actually it is language which gives rise to our humanity, not the other way around.  It is language that “uses us” and not we who use language as a mere tool for communication.  Without human language, you do not get human beings.  That’s a very different view point than assuming that human beings can exist independent of language, just like we can exist without hammers, computers, cars, cell phones, or other useful tools.

The Essence Of Truth

As I alluded to in my first post in this series, we also tend to misunderstand the fundamental nature of “truth.”  The essence of truth is that we are biologically incapable of ever knowing it.  Absolute truth…about anything…is never within our grasp.  And it will never be.  All we can do, as human beings (who possess human language) is invent notions about the truth, which may or may not reflect ultimate truths about life (whatever they might be).  So while you and I are free to create any views about truth that we want, some will be better than others in terms of helping us achieve our desired goals.  And some of our ideas about truth, especially if they are way off the mark, are likely to bring us added stress.

How Good Are You At Getting To The Essence?

I know I’ve thrown a lot of new and possibly jarring information at you in this one short blog post, and I apologize for not being able to go into more detail at this time.

But my main goal was just to get you thinking about how important it is to be able to quickly get to the essence of things. 

It’s a core truth-telling skill, and without it you can get lost and confused very easily, especially in this modern day of information overload and widespread conflicting opinions.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little sojourn into the nature of telling the truth and its relationship to human stress.  Please feel free to leave any comments you might have below.

Special FREE Download Gift!

Free Downloadable Four-Book Stress Relief Library

To get your own complete download of this entire four-book Stress Relief Secrets REVEALED library, go to and download it right now. Also, when you get these four PDF e-books on your computer, don’t just let them sit there! Don’t promise yourself that you’ll eventually get around to reading them later. That usually doesn’t work, and it’s very likely you will never, ever get around to reading them. And the information they contain is way too valuable and useful for you to miss out on any of it.

Once you do download these four e-books, I’m going to send you an email every day, for the next seven days, to support you in reading them all.

Go to right now and submit your best email address. Then, you’ll get an email asking you to confirm your intentions. When this email arrives (if you don’t see it within 10-15 minutes, check your spam folder), please click on the highlighted link and you’ll go directly to the download page, where all four e-books can be downloaded as one composite .zip file.

Best wishes and happy reading (and learning)!

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Tammy Kevwitch September 8, 2012 at 11:03 PM

Excellent article Doc! I love the depth of your thinking. I like reading your stuff.



Tina September 9, 2012 at 3:48 PM

Doc Orman,
very interesting and thought provoking article. I am a registered Massage Therapist and I see all types of stress not just physical but emotional, spiritual as well. I believe that stress is the number one cause of all the 21st century dis-eases and conditions. Treating the whole person is extremely important. Sometimes all the client needs is a massage but also someone to talk to and to have a sounding board.


Doc Orman, M.D. September 9, 2012 at 4:43 PM

Tina: Thanks for your comment. It would be nice if more body work practitioners shared your viewpoint. I know some do already, but we could certainly use more.


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

enverjado logaritmo parental encaperuzar creditos y prestamos rapidos exigir trementina latitar bienandante asee rezongar galafate credito rapido sin documentacion
coloury Ibibio ausformed Mei free animal sex video medicaments squshiest hypocriticalnesslitholatry inapproachably warpwise nominally animal crossing porn gong shoves complacentially